Battlefield 6 Outage Map

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Battlefield 6 Issues Reports

Latest outage, problems and issue reports in social media:

• 
  Paul LeCoque (@paullecoque) reported 4 minutes ago

  $IONQ | From Kardashian to quantum, I’m going to break the internet Niccolo de Masi, the boss of $21bn tech firm IonQ, says Q-Day (when the world’s digital secrets become vulnerable) is closer than people think If Niccolo de Masi has jetlag, he’s not showing it. “Niccolo travels all week, every week,” he shrugs. It’s not the last time he’ll refer to himself in the third person. De Masi, boss of the Maryland-based quantum computing business IonQ, valued at $21.6 billion (£16 billion) on the New York Stock Exchange, is in the UK for London Tech Week and to visit staff at Oxford Ionics, the university spin-out that he bought last year for $1.1 billion. I find him at a table in the restaurant of the £1,000-a-night Peninsula hotel near Buckingham Palace, sipping water. “I don’t drink caffeine,” he later discloses. “That’s a fun fact about Niccolo.” It’s probably not the funniest fact, though.  Born in October 1980 in Los Angeles but mainly raised in the UK, de Masi was a “minor, minor child actor” who appeared in The Godfather Part III as the son of Enzo the baker.  At 26, after securing a physics degree from Cambridge and first job at Wall Street investment bank JP Morgan, de Masi became one of the London Stock Exchange’s youngest chief executives when he took charge of Monstermob, a Lancaster-based company that piggybacked on the success of Nokia mobile phones in the early 2000s by producing polyphonic ringtones. After moving back to the US, he became the boss of Glu Mobile in 2010 when he was 29. In that job, he teamed up with mega-influencer Kim Kardashian to create a hit mobile game for her fans.  But today, de Masi doesn’t want to talk about any of that. He seems affronted by my suggestion that his claim to fame was making Kim Kardashian: Hollywood — noting coolly that he has “run a dozen public companies” — and perplexed that I’d want to talk about anything but IonQ and quantum computers. And, to be fair, he might have a point. Kardashian may once have figuratively broken the internet by posing with a glass of champagne balanced on her bottom — but if de Masi and his peers are to be taken seriously, quantum computing might actually break the internet one day soon. “This is a $10, 20, 30 trillion economic impact problem,” he says. “Imagine if nothing on your phone is actually secure … and if online banking goes away. What happens on the battlefield? It’s a real challenge.” If, like me, you’re wondering what he’s talking about, let’s take a step back. Quantum computing is the big technological development capturing the imagination of scientists, executives and investors. The final group has invested big in a sector that currently makes little or no money — as IonQ investors know all too well. Founded by scientists in 2015 and taken public by de Masi in 2021, the company racked up a $510 million loss on revenues of $130 million last year. But the promise is huge. While traditional computers work using binary options — they are powered by “bits” that either represent ones or zeros — quantum computing uses qubits, which can be a one or a zero at the same time. This, in theory, means super-fast computing and problem-solving. The problem for companies seeking to commercialise quantum computing is that qubits are extremely unstable and sensitive to temperature and noise, meaning errors are common. There are many scientists, researchers and companies seeking to overcome these issues, including tech giants such as Google and IBM. IonQ’s proposed solution is “trapped-ion technology”, which it believes can better control atoms, making its quantum products better and more affordable. How much, you ask? Less than $30 million, I’m told — which is less than hundreds of millions charged by other companies in the space.

• 
  MugenLord (@MugenLord) reported 7 minutes ago

  @SunstriderIII @MinEffortLive Low population, and they are desperate for more cogs to fight the war. There are two classes of Women based on their fertility. A fertile woman is used for Breeding Farms, and the non-fertile women, known as Barrens, are sent to the front lines. Some women who are in non-combat positions would either be pulled from their positions and thrown into the battlefield because of low infantry, or some would volunteer their service.

• 
  Jimmy Woodard (@EmonDaJimster) reported 8 minutes ago

  If you are thinking about buying or spending money on battlefield 6 for PC. It's not worth it. I got the Driver X crash error. Tweaked my pc in so many ways, that it's messing up other settings. $100 became as worthless as toilet paper. @Battlefield

• 
  Jimi cali (@JimiCali67640) reported 13 minutes ago

  @vonderleyen European governments only issue statements. What is needed is action and real measures on the battlefield. Military equipment is needed. Support for oppressed people is necessary. I can also write a thousand statements a day. It’s useless.

• 
  Gabor Smith (@HCGMisi82) reported 15 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm When will you fix redsec? It's worse and more unstable than ever! 🤮🤮

• 
  Enders (@EndersFPS) reported 15 minutes ago

  Guys idk who needs to hear this but believe it or not EA is gonna EA and that means Battlefield will always be similar to COD in some aspects until hell freezes over. I’m not saying I like it, or that you have to like it, I’m just saying they’re competitors and EA is a business, and businesses exist to make money. EA wants the COD money, EA doesnt want Battlefield to be as niche as it typically is, they want it to literally be another Warzone/Fortnite level event in gaming. The next huge thing. That’s why REDSEC was made, it’s why the gunplay is the way it is, it’s why the movement is the way it is, ect. They’re under the impression this is the way to achieve a viral infinite money glitch like their competitors. As usual, EA is multiple years late to the trends and is incapable of creating their own unique breakthrough trend.

• 
  BattleSimm (@BattleSimm) reported 18 minutes ago

  @wjonthomas @BattlefieldComm This is a problem. I am glad I was not going crazy myself :)

• 
  LEX (@MILSIMPRODIGY) reported 21 minutes ago

  @elibrev1598312 @HDTX4 One of his examples was addressed by a different studio but I understand that battlefield players are illiterate. Keep coping though expecting them to "fix netcode" in the 6th or 7th or 8th patch "addressing it".

• 
  Battlefield Bulletin (@BFBulletin) reported 21 minutes ago

  @SNKYGamer @Nodone00 I remember reading a comment from Ganslinger43 (community manager) indicating Battle Pickups have been on 'ice' since there are still some issues with them that are difficult to fix. Battlefield Studios is currently testing some fixes in Labs, and they want Battle Pickups to be back in more modes when possible.

• 
  Alex Grenier (@alexgrenier) reported 21 minutes ago

  The battlefield is between USA and China and no one is stepping in there under 12 digits. That's the bottom line. Canada and the taxpayer funded retarded Cohere CEO running his mouth that "Canada will own the AI industry" is like a Chihuahua yapping at Cerberus. And no SOTA lab will elect to get taxed in Canada. It will go to Delaware, Texas, or Florida, and get listed on NASDAQ. You think Cohere will go on TSX and crush the world's first trillionaire most precious baby? The fact it's absolutely delusional is not the issue. Is the plan to try it (and fail epicly) is based and taking the cash from ordinary hardworking Canadians and setting it on fire for a bunch of LARPers who can't even make a model that beats **** that came out 3 months before theirs.

• 
  iliron (@fuckassad088) reported 22 minutes ago

  @BattlefieldComm Did you solve the issue where you can't open the settings in shooting range making you back out multiple times and entering again until it does work .very annoying

• 
  ManicMike (@Maniacmike18) reported 26 minutes ago

  @Talo_Hex @BattlefieldComm Derrrr fix net code Derrrr, type new code in editor to make code work better on my **** connection derrrr

• 
  OnAzI (@David_Onazi) reported 26 minutes ago

  Please read this story : a real story about how a lady feels going through several heart breaks She was 29 when she finally stopped counting the heartbreaks. Each one had a different mask. The charming one who vanished when things got real. The “almost” who loved her in private but never in public. The fixer who tried to rebuild her but couldn’t stand when she outgrew the version he needed. After every ending, she’d sit on her bathroom floor, mascara streaked, whispering the same question: “What’s wrong with me?” She dated. She healed. She journaled. She traveled alone. She built the career she once put on hold for men who never showed up the same way. But the ache remained — that quiet fear that real love, the kind that sees you entirely and stays, was something other women got. Not her. Then came the night she almost didn’t go out. Exhausted from another week of “he’s different” turning into the same old pattern, she wanted to cancel. But her best friend dragged her to that tiny jazz café downtown. He was sitting at the corner table, reading an old book, completely unbothered by the noise. When their eyes met, he smiled like he’d been waiting for her specifically. Not in a creepy way. In a *finally* way. His name was Elias. He didn’t rush. He listened — really listened — when she spoke about her scars without trying to fix them. He made her laugh until her ribs hurt, then held her when the old fears crept in at 2 a.m. He saw her ambition, her messiness, her softness, and never asked her to shrink any of it. For the first time, love didn’t feel like a battlefield. It felt like coming home to a place she didn’t know she’d been missing. One quiet evening, curled up on his couch, she asked him why he felt so different. He looked at her, eyes steady, and said: “Because I wasn’t looking for someone to complete me. I was just ready to meet the woman who was already whole… and I got lucky that it’s you.” She cried. Not from pain this time. From the deep relief of being truly *seen*. To every woman still in the trenches: The failed relationships weren’t punishments. They were pruning. Clearing space. Teaching you what you will no longer tolerate and what you truly deserve. The one who’s meant for you won’t make you question your worth. He’ll make you wonder how you ever settled for less. And when he arrives, you’ll understand why it took so long — so you could arrive as *you*. No ordinary love. The kind that makes every scar worth it.

• 
  Miny Boy (@miny_boy) reported 36 minutes ago

  Session Thirteen: The Day Gnomesguard Became the Dungeon Boss The party had technically been attempting a long rest, but after a portal, nearly dying in a dungeon full of werejackals, zombies, carnivorous plants, and Gwyane's decision making, they found themselves settling for a short rest instead during the long rest. Everyone was battered, bruised, exhausted, and questioning why they kept agreeing to go in the portal in the first place. The room was relatively secure. Relatively. Every few minutes a scratching noise echoed from somewhere beyond one of the nearby doors. Long claws dragged against stone. Something shuffled around out there in the darkness. Nobody volunteered to investigate. "Good news," Kai announced while leaning against a wall and cleaning blood off his sword. "Whatever that is, it's someone else's problem for another hour." Nobody argued. Instead the group settled into one of those strange adventuring conversations that somehow always occurred immediately after life-threatening combat. The discussion somehow turned toward size-changing magic. Arcades pointed toward the corpse of the massive werejackal lying nearby. "I still don't understand how Kai pushed that thing around." "It was momentum," Kai explained. "It was physics." "It was stupidity," Gwyane corrected. Kai nodded. "That too." Rashare scratched at one of his ears. "No normal creature that size should move that easily." Kai immediately had an answer. "Hollow bones." Everyone stared. "What?" "The thing had hollow bones." "It was a giant werejackal." "Hollow. Bones." Arcades looked unconvinced. Gnomesguard looked offended. Goto simply looked entertained. Kai crossed his arms. "You explain it then." Nobody could. Thus hollow bones became the official explanation. Meanwhile Goto had found a quiet corner and was practicing the strange spectral magic he had used during the battle. Ghostly hands flickered into existence around him before fading away again. Arcades watched curiously. "So how exactly does that work?" Goto wiggled his fingers. The transparent hands mimicked the motion. "Ghost magic." Arcades nodded slowly. "That doesn't explain anything." "It explains everything." Kai immediately became suspicious. The fighter stared at the floating hands. Then stared at Goto. Then stared at the floating hands again. "You sound exactly like Dutchman." The room became quiet. "Excuse me?" Goto asked. "You use weird magic." "Yes." "You say strange things." "Reasonable." "You explain nothing." "Correct." Kai pointed dramatically. "Druid." The table erupted. The DM nearly fell out of his chair laughing. Gnomesguard physically slapped himself across the face with a metal hand. Goto adjusted his top hat. "I am not a druid." "You sure?" "Very." "Because that's exactly what a druid would say." Goto sighed. "I am magical." Kai nodded. "Suspicious." "I am sneaky." "More suspicious." "I am not a druid." "The jury is still out." After an hour of healing, arguing, and recovering from near death, the group turned their attention back toward the dungeon. The scratching beyond the door continued. Whatever waited out there clearly wasn't leaving. They needed a plan. Kai immediately suggested fire. Goto immediately suggested ball bearings and more fire. Rashare had a better idea. The ranger pulled out his remaining Scroll of Ensnare. "We trap him." Everyone immediately agreed. The preparations began. Rashare carefully positioned the magical trap. Kai stood to one side of the doorway with a crossbow ready. Arcades positioned himself on the other side. Goto vanished behind the door with a knife in hand. Gwyane prepared for his most important role in the party. Opening doors. Gnomesguard proudly contributed absolutely nothing. "I am observing." "You are hiding." "Observation." Everything was ready. Gwyane reached for the handle. The party held their breath. The door opened. The zombie creature charged. The trap activated. Vines exploded upward from the floor. The zombie was immediately yanked into the air and left dangling upside down like the world's ugliest piñata. Before it could even react, Goto struck. Critical hit. The knife punched straight into its neck. The creature twitched once. Then stopped moving. Dead. Everyone lowered their weapons. The entire ambush had lasted roughly three seconds. Kai approached the body. Goto followed. The two stared down at the corpse. "Think that's Dutchman?" Goto asked. Kai crouched beside it. The fighter examined the corpse carefully. Then shook his head. "Dammit." "What?" "I don't think so." The group gathered around. Rashare looked over the body. "How can you tell?" Kai pointed. "Dutchman is blue." "True." "Short." "True." "Annoying." "Very true." Kai shrugged. "This thing only has one of those." Rashare folded his arms. "Maybe dead deep dwarves become pale." Kai blinked. "...what?" "You admitted you zoned out during Dutchman's anatomy lessons." "That's true." "So maybe they get longer and paler after death." Kai stared. Thought about it. Then pointed. "You know what? That's stupid enough to possibly be true." Nobody actually knew. The mystery remained unsolved. Beyond the corpse lay another passageway. A long hallway stretched forward before ending at a staircase descending into darkness. Gnomesguard's eyes immediately widened. "I HAVE AN IDEA." Everyone groaned. The autognome reached into his pack. Produced the bedroll. And jumped onto it. "No." "Yes." "No." "YES." Before anyone could stop him, Gnomesguard launched himself down the stairs like a tiny metallic sled. The screams echoed all the way down. Kai immediately shoved everyone aside. "I'm not missing this." His fish-like wings unfolded. The fighter leapt after the autognome and began gliding downward. Unfortunately he was a little too late. By the time he arrived… CRASH. Gnomesguard had already slammed into the bottom. Kai landed beside the wreckage. His disappointment was immeasurable. "I missed it." The rest of the party slowly descended. Boringly. Safely. Like responsible adventurers. Losers. At the bottom they discovered a massive arena. Rows of stone seating surrounded a gigantic combat pit. The place felt ancient. Forgotten. Built for blood. Rashare stopped moving. The ranger stared across the battlefield. Memories surfaced. Steel. Crowds. Chains. The roar of spectators. The smell of blood. For a brief moment he wasn't standing in a dungeon. He was back in the pits. Back where he had fought for survival. Back where people cheered while others died. Kai noticed immediately. Without saying much, he stepped beside Rashare and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey." The halfling looked up. Kai nodded toward the floor. "Just breathe." Rashare took a breath. Then another. The memories slowly faded. "We're here. Take a seat if you have to." Rashare smiled weakly. "Thanks." The others explored. Kai searched under the seats. No gum. His disappointment continued. Goto checked every nearby door. All locked. Then they noticed the throne. High above the arena sat a large chair overlooking everything. It looked wrong. The stone didn't match. The architecture didn't match. The entire structure felt foreign. Ancient. Different. Gnomesguard immediately sprinted toward it. The player still remembered the flesh throne from the previous campaign. His dreams of sitting in suspicious chairs had returned. The autognome climbed up and sat down. Nothing happened. Then he noticed the buttons. Hundreds of buttons. His eyes widened. "Oh no." "Oh yes." As he began pressing controls, forgotten memories surfaced. Alien technology. Ancient machinery. A crashed spacecraft disguised as architecture. Three eyed data-mining aliens. Mind thieves. Experimenters. The arena had never been a gladiator pit. It had been a testing facility. An entertainment center. A laboratory. And Gnomesguard was now operating the controls. Which was objectively terrifying. Meanwhile Rashare examined the arena floor. The terrain wasn't natural. Large hills. Deep pits. Hidden mechanisms. Trap doors. Something had been designed here. Something dangerous. Then Gnomesguard pressed another button. The ground immediately shook. Everyone rolled Dexterity saves. Kai failed. Gwyane failed. Both disappeared into newly opened pits. Their screams echoed through the arena. Kai climbed out covered in dust. "What is the bright idea, chrome dome?!" Gnomesguard looked genuinely apologetic. "There are many buttons." "STOP PRESSING THEM." "I need a map!" Then another button activated. A hidden trapdoor opened near the center of the arena. The group approached cautiously. Rashare tossed a stone into the darkness below. The sound continued. And continued. And continued. Eventually… *clack.* The DM sighed. "You rolled a natural twenty, didn't you?" Rashare smiled. The DM continued. "You somehow know it is exactly one hundred and twenty feet deep, there are spikes at the bottom, several corpses, and apparently their social security numbers." The table lost it. Kai peered into the darkness. His wings twitched. “I can glide down there." The fighter thought for a moment. "Problem is getting back up." A rope would solve that. But if they used a rope, gliding down became pointless. And Kai was not willing to sacrifice style for practicality. Not yet. Not in front of an audience. The dungeon had already proven itself to be a place designed by either a mad genius or someone who genuinely hated adventurers, and unfortunately for everyone involved, Gnomesguard had just been handed access to the controls. The results were exactly as catastrophic as one might expect. Another tremor ripped through the ancient arena complex, sending dust raining from the ceiling and stones rattling loose from centuries-old masonry. At the center of it all sat Gnomesguard. At a control panel. Surrounded by buttons. The worst possible combination. The autognome reached toward another glowing switch. "Oops." He pressed it. Immediately the entire arena shook like an angry giant had grabbed it by the foundations and started shaking it for loose coins. Rashare, who had already been having a rough day, lost his footing completely. The poor halfling slammed into the ground. Hard. And stopped moving. Silence. Everyone stared. Gnomesguard stared. "...I may have made a minor miscalculation." Kai pointed accusingly. "You knocked him unconscious with architecture." "Technically," Gnomesguard replied, "the architecture knocked him unconscious… and i rolled a one." The distinction did not help. The autognome scrambled down from the control platform and attempted to stabilize Rashare. His first attempt failed. Then his second. Then his third. At this point even the unconscious ranger seemed disappointed. Finally Gnomesguard managed to get the halfling breathing properly again. "There." He wiped imaginary sweat from his metal forehead. "Medical science prevails." Kai folded his arms. "You nearly killed him with a button." "Medical science still prevailed." After recovering Rashare, Gnomesguard suddenly had another idea. A terrible idea. Which, unfortunately, was still an idea. The most dangerous kind. He looked around the arena. Looked at the buttons. Looked at the party. Looked back at the buttons. Then smiled. Everyone became nervous. "Get out while I do the final button presses." "No." "Please?" "No." "I'm going to do them anyway." "That's why we're saying no." Too late. His hand was already moving. Another button clicked. A blinding flash exploded through the chamber. Kai had survived battlefields. He had survived experiments. He had survived magical disasters. He had survived Dutchman. But apparently none of that prepared him for getting flash-banged by a robot pressing random alien buttons. His darkvision immediately betrayed him. The world became white. Then black. Then somehow whiter. Then black again. The fighter staggered blindly into a nearby door. Head first. THUNK. Goto followed behind him. "Are you alright?" "I have no idea." "You walked into a wall." "I know exactly where I am." Another wall. THUNK. "No I don't." Elsewhere Arcades wandered through the chaos trying to accomplish something useful. A noble goal. Unfortunately he was surrounded by Gnomesguard. The paladin found another door. Then another button. Then another button. At some point doors began opening and closing seemingly at random. Nobody knew whether this was helpful or not. But eventually pathways started connecting. So everyone decided it counted as progress. Then Gnomesguard found the big button. The really big button. The button that practically screamed: DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON. Naturally he pressed it. The ancient machinery roared to life. Massive portals tore open around the arena. Strange lights flashed. Reality bent. And creatures began emerging from the gateways. A naga. A tiefling. A human. An orc. A warforged. Several other things nobody immediately recognized. Gnomesguard stared at the growing army. Then smiled. "Oh." Everyone groaned. The portals began disgorging monsters. Then Gnomesguard had another idea. Again. “I’m going to make them regret coming to the arena, just like my party did.” The portals slammed shut. Several creatures were cut off mid-step and crushed violently as dimensional gateways folded over them. The survivors collapsed to the ground. Prone. Dazed. Injured. Gnomesguard nodded approvingly. "Interesting." Then he opened them again. Then closed them again. Just because he could. At this point the arena itself seemed offended. Meanwhile Kai and Goto sat by one of the doors completely unaware of the exact disaster unfolding elsewhere. Kai did not have a sending stone. Now it has come to bite them in the ***. The rabbit adjusted his top hat nervously. "You think he's done?" Kai listened. Far away came explosions. Earthquakes. Screaming. Metal grinding. The sound of reality folding itself into a pretzel. "No." "You don't sound worried." "If Gnomesguard was actually done, it'd be quiet." "Fair point." "What we just heard means he's still experimenting." The fighter slowly drew his sword. "Which means we should prepare." Arcades finally managed to open a door after failing to kick it and sprinted inside. What he found immediately made him regret it. Creatures. Lots of creatures. Everywhere. A naga. An orc. A tiefling. A human. Things moving. Things growling. Things very interested in murder. Arcades immediately backed out. Closed the door. Turned around. And found Gnomesguard still at the controls. The autognome looked over. "I'm about to push all the buttons." Arcades screamed. The earthquake that followed could probably be felt in neighboring kingdoms. Everyone hit the ground. Stone cracked. Dust exploded upward. Lights flashed. Rashare finally woke up. The first thing he saw was Gnomesguard covering his eyes with a giant metal hand. "Why are you doing that?" "Protecting you." "From what?" "Science." Rashare wasn't sure whether that answer made him feel better or worse. Goto peeked through the doorway. One human remained prone near the entrance. The rabbit looked back toward Kai. "Now." The door swung open. Kai exploded into motion. The fighter launched himself through the doorway like a missile. His greatsword swept downward. Steel struck flesh. The human staggered backward as blood splattered across the stone. Ten solid points of damage. A strong opening. Not enough to finish the job. The battle erupted. Rashare finally regained his footing and fired an arrow toward the warforged. The shaft struck metal with a loud TING. Good hit. Hard to tell how much it mattered. The construct had probably been punched by larger things than arrows before breakfast. The human swung wildly at Kai. Missed. Badly. Kai smiled. A very dangerous smile. Behind the human, Goto vanished. Then reappeared. Nat twenty. The rapier struck where the sun didn't shine. The table immediately lost all maturity. The unfortunate angle of attack became legendary. The human collapsed dead. Sword sticking out of his bum. Goto attempted to retrieve his weapon. No luck. "...This is awkward." Kai nodded solemnly. "Heroes face many challenges." Then Gwyane saw something. Not the battle. Not the monsters. Not the chaos. A staircase. Leading somewhere else. Possibly treasure. Possibly booze. Possibly both. The sorcerer made his decision instantly. The party would understand. Probably. Maybe. Not really. He sprinted sixty feet up the staircase. At the top stood a locked door. He attempted to pick it with a dagger. Failed. The door remained unimpressed. Gwyane frowned. Then pulled out a crowbar. "Fine." One impressive effort later the lock gave way. Kai would have been proud. Violence remained the universal key. Back in the arena things continued deteriorating. The tiefling fired arrows toward Gnomesguard. The autognome ducked. While ducking he accidentally pressed another button. Earthquake. Again. Everyone screamed. The naga fired while falling over. Missed everyone. Rashare retaliated. Nat one. The arrow sailed perfectly across the counsel. Directly into the back of Gnomesguard's head. The autognome froze. Slowly turned. Oil dripped. "I have been betrayed." Six damage. More than half his health. The tiny machine was officially oilied. An orc climbed the control platform toward Gnomesguard. The autognome was furious. The orc reached the controls. Stepped on a button. Another earthquake. Kai fell. Goto fell. Everyone hated buttons. The orc then decided Gnomesguard looked friendly. Reasonable, considering he had caused most of the chaos. So instead he targeted Rashare. The injured halfling immediately regretted existing. Meanwhile the warforged retreated to higher ground. It looked down confidently. "It's over, invaders. I have the advantage." Arcades pointed his axe. "Don't try it." The paladin charged. Swung. Missed. The warforged remained untouched. Arcades stopped. "...The high ground really does have power." Kai rose from the floor and sighed. "You people understand nothing." Everyone looked at him. "The high ground isn't unbeatable." He pointed toward the warforge. "You attack the ankles." Then he demonstrated. His sword flashed. The warforge's lower body came apart. The creature collapsed instantly. Dead before it hit the ground. Kai rested the blade on his shoulder. "See?" He looked around the battlefield. "Simple math." And somewhere nearby, Gnomesguard was still reaching for buttons. The battle had descended into exactly the kind of chaos that seemed to follow this group wherever they went, and despite all the planning, all the caution, and all the warnings about pressing mysterious alien buttons, the arena now looked like the aftermath of a natural disaster mixed with a tavern brawl and a poorly supervised magical experiment. The orc, still determined to squash someone smaller than himself, swung his weapon at Rashare with all the grace of a falling tree. The halfling ranger ducked at the last possible second. The weapon whistled harmlessly through the air. "Missed me," Rashare said. The orc growled. Elsewhere, the battered naga lashed out at Kai with one final desperate strike, its serpentine body twisting across the arena floor as it tried to salvage what little dignity remained. It missed. Kai looked down at the failed attack. Then looked back at the naga. Then back at the attack. "That was embarrassing for both of us." Meanwhile, completely disconnected from the battle raging below, Gwyane had finally succeeded in opening the locked door at the top of the staircase. The young sorcerer cautiously pushed it open. He expected treasure. Ancient secrets. A powerful artifact. Perhaps enough alcohol to solve several emotional problems. Instead he found a pantry. A very large pantry. Shelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling, packed with preserved food, supplies, potions, strange ingredients, and enough rations to feed an army. And standing in the middle of it all was Dutchman. The deep dwarf was stuffing supplies into a sack with the enthusiasm of a raccoon that had discovered an unattended bakery. He looked up. Saw Gwyane. Smiled. "Oh hey!" Gwyane blinked. "Dutchman?" "Yep." "We've been looking everywhere for you." "That's nice." Dutchman shoved three more potions into his bag. The sorcerer stared. "You're... not trapped?" "Nope." "Hurt?" "Nope." "Captured?" "Nah." "Missing?" Dutchman considered that. "I suppose technically." Gwyane rubbed his forehead. The headache from last night's drinking somehow got worse. "Do you remember me?" Gwyane asked. Dutchman looked offended. "Of course I remember you. You were at the wizard party." "The one that got me expelled." "Yeah, that one." "You got arrested too." Dutchman nodded. "Good times." Gwyane looked ready to scream. Instead he settled for a long sigh. "We fought zombies." "Oh." "We fought a werejackal." "Oh." "We nearly died several times." "Oh." "There was a rabbit." "Oh." "There was a goblin." "Oh." "There was an alien arena controlled by Gnomesguard." Dutchman stopped. "Actually that one sounds concerning." The dwarf casually handed him several potions. "Want these?" "You've been carrying healing potions this entire time?" "Probably." "We almost died." "Yeah, but now you didn't." The logic somehow made sense by Dutchman standards. The two began casually walking back toward the battlefield. Not running. Not hurrying. Just strolling. Like they were returning from a pleasant shopping trip. Back in the arena, things were still exploding. Goto suddenly stepped forward and unleashed a thunderous blast directly into the central platform area. The shockwave erupted outward. The orc disappeared. Literally launched into another room. The goblin was thrown backward. The naga collapsed. And poor Rashare failed another save. The halfling hit the floor. Again. Unconscious. Again. Kai watched him fall. Slowly. Sadly. Almost thoughtfully. Then sighed. "Did he just have a heart attack?" The table immediately lost it. Rashare's player did not. When the dust finally settled only one enemy remained standing. The goblin. Tiny. Terrified. Surrounded by corpses. The poor creature looked like someone who had just realized he had accidentally wandered into the wrong campaign. Gnomesguard immediately approached. "Hello little friend." The goblin looked terrified. "We don't have to fight." The autognome knelt down. "You seem like a reasonable fellow." The goblin looked around at the mountain of dead bodies. Reasonable was not the word he would have used. Gnomesguard continued. "You can help us." The goblin hesitated. "Or else." The goblin became more nervous. "You look cool." The goblin became confused. "Help us." The goblin became concerned. "Or else." The goblin became terrified again. Kai slowly pulled out a javelin. "How's diplomacy going?" Gnomesguard pointed. "Don't." Kai spun the weapon once. "I'm just asking." "Don't." "I can throw really accurately." "Don't." Then the goblin started crying. Not dramatic crying. Not villain crying. Genuine crying. The kind that comes after watching every friend you've ever known get flattened by adventurers. "You killed them all!" Everyone paused. The goblin pointed around the room. "You killed all my friends!" His voice cracked. "What am I supposed to do now?" Kai slowly approached. Javelin still ready. "Is the conversation working?" Gnomesguard finally snapped. "If you throw that thing we're going to have a problem." Kai glared. "We already have a problem." He pointed at the control platform. "Your science experiment." And then Dutchman walked into the room carrying snacks. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Everyone stared. The battlefield was covered in bodies. The floor was cracked. Several walls had exploded. There was a crying goblin. Rashare was unconscious. Again. Dutchman blinked. "Whoa." The goblin pointed at Kai. "He's trying to kill me." Gnomesguard immediately put an arm around the goblin. "Not anymore." Then he handed the goblin a healing potion. Kai watched this happen. Slowly lowered his javelin. And simply walked away. "You're adopting a ******* goblin." "Maybe." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "He needs friends." "He's going to bite somebody." Then Gnomesguard noticed Goto. The rabbit adjusted his top hat. The autognome pointed. "Wait." Goto froze. "When did we adopt a bunny?" "I am not adopted." "You are now." "No." "What's your name?" "Goto Dehel." Gnomesguard paused. "...Dehel?" "Yes?" "I think that was my ex-wife." Silence. Absolute silence. Arcades nearly dropped his axe. "You were married?" "Happily separated." Nobody knew how to continue that conversation. Kai simply turned around and walked farther away. Dutchman began distributing potions to everyone like a cheerful pharmacist. Rashare received one and immediately woke up. Again. Kai received a Greater Healing Potion after Dutchman learned he had sacrificed his own. The fighter accepted it. Very carefully. Like it might disappear if he blinked.

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  Sammi🦋 (@StoriesBySammi) reported 39 minutes ago

  The U.S. government just made a land deal with the world's first trillionaire. Not a sale. A trade. Because apparently that's how we do things now. 715 acres of the Lower Rio Grande Valley National Wildlife Refuge - built by Congress in 1979 to protect one of the most biodiverse wildlife corridors left in North America - handed to SpaceX. Endangered ocelots. Aplomado falcons. Piping plovers. Land the Carrizo/Comecrudo Nation of Texas has called sacred since long before there was a United States. SpaceX built a rocket launch site next door. Then came the explosions. Concrete and metal hurled six miles across refuge land. A 2024 study found that after one launch, every single monitored shorebird nest near the site suffered egg damage or loss. The Fish and Wildlife Service's response was not enforcement. It was a land swap. FOIA documents show internal planning for this transfer started as early as April 2025 - while Musk was running DOGE and threatening to fire federal workers who didn't justify their jobs to him. The agency developed what they called "the most expedited schedule possible" to get it done. Part of what's being handed over includes the Palmito Ranch Battlefield - the site of the last battle of the Civil War. A National Historic Landmark. Once transferred, SpaceX can restrict public access whenever they want. 25,000+ people submitted public comments. Most opposed the deal. The government moved forward anyway. A coalition of tribal and conservation groups filed a federal lawsuit this week to stop it. Because someone has to. Why are we cutting real estate deals with a trillionaire when we could have just made him pay for it? #DemsUnited